Tonight is not a good night. Sorry. I want my mom. I really need her. I am doing the best I can...I promise I am, but I need my mom. OK, so last night I went and saw a sad dog movie.....and tonight I went out with my girlfriend who lost her son...and then I had like 2 buckets of beers and a couple of shots, so I'm liking feeling realy sad....so who the fuck really cares...or gives a royal sh**. See how nice I am...I am using **....haha. OK....I drove to my g'friend's house tonight who lives a couple streets over from my mom's house (she is the g'friend who helped me with my mom when NOBODY else was available)...and she was also losing her son at the same time....FUNNY, how unavailable people come when real help is really needed...and people who have been there since you were 14 are there when nobody else is...and family people are just too busy....whatever.

I had all these thoughts going through my head and now I can't think of a fucking thing. My brain is dead. Right now I just got the fuckin hiccups!!...and I can't keep thinking about those dogs from that movie!...I told my g'friend about that movie and she wants to see it.

Anyway, I drove past my mom's house and saw people in it thru the open front window and they are using the dining L for a dining room with a table and I saw their couch where my mom's couch use to be against the wall...and a little boy walking across the room....

I wanted to pull in the driveway and walk up to the door and Knock...and say "Hey...my mom use to live here...can I come in???"...