Yesterday I went to my favorite consignment store and I got talking with this woman whose mother is in a nursing home and she is dealing with things and the house and getting rid of her stuff....besides her mom is over 90 and doesn't have long to live. Also her brother was killed in a random drive-by shooting last August. So she told me about this grief support group that she sometimes goes to the third Wednesday of the month which was last night. It's not too far from my house so I decided to go last night. Since I sold the house last week, I'm now having these dreams about the damn house. I had another one the other night that I still had a key and was still able to go into the house and it was late at night and I was afraid that the new owner would catch me...and I'm looking at things he was doing to the house...like the kitchen faucet was disconnected and I'm thinking that it was a brand new faucet we installed so why the hell is he changing it. It's almost like losing the house is like losing part of my mom again....It was a comfort to me to go there sometimes and the memories seemed more real and sometimes I could feel her there...now I don't have the house anymore and it's like losing it all.

I don't know how to explain it. Anyway I went to this meeting last night and there were 6 other people there...5 women and 1 man. The man and 4 of the women lost their spouses and one woman lost her daughter. The one woman said her husband went in for a stress test...she was waiting for him in the waiting room, and after 4 minutes on the treadmill he had a heart attack and died right there! My husband was suppose to have a stress test a while back and he canceled it for that reason...he was afraid he'd have a heart attack on the damn thing. So I guess it happens. Anyway, so then last night I have all this crap going through my head and I had a really bad night trying to sleep...so I'm not sure if these meetings really do much good.
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I worked today and I'm off now til Tuesday. I'm leaving tomorrow for Caseville for the Shanty Days weekend. I have part of this entertainment center thing to take up there. I brought the credenza part of it back last time for my husband to put together and we got it in my jeep. I figure I can get it out with my girlfriend's help. I'm not going to bother bringing the other two pieces back for him to put together. He said he'll go up there one weekend and do it.

So that's about it til I get back....Have a great weekend...Ciao