DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE THAT?!!

I had to go to Target to buy a few things that I needed, and naturally started looking at things that I don't really need....like clothes. But I just can't pass up those damn 'Clearance' racks. So I'm picking out this and that and decide I better try them on....and I truly HATE trying on clothes in those stores. I have to go into the fitting room where the dreaded fitting room mirrors are.

Why are fitting room mirrors so different from my mirrors at home??

At home I check myself out and I look pretty good.....okay, maybe not great, but certainly good enough to go to freakin' Target. I mean, at least I have make-up on and my hair is combed and I'm feeling pretty good cause I lost a few pounds and I'm wearing jeans that haven't fit all winter.

But then I go into the fitting room, turn around and see an old fat crone staring back at me....Yikes!...Where did SHE come from?

The point is that all store fitting room mirrors make a person look absolutely hideous and I can't figure out why.

First of all, they don't use 'skinny' mirrors....they use 'fat' mirrors. I see every fat cell. I look at least 10 pounds fatter than I did before I walked out of my house.

Then my beautifully made-up face is now all wrinkled up and sagging and I look like I just got out of bed.

So I turn around in disgust and take off my size 8 jeans that fit me just fine, thank you, and try on another size 8 pair of jeans and I can't even get the damn button buttoned....I can barely get them up past my now humongous butt. So go figure. Apparently you can actually gain weight just by entering one of their fitting rooms!

Then I try on the top which happened to be a size Small....why or why did I even think that it would fit, why did I bother to even take it in the fitting room...but it was on sale..and it was cute..and I was hoping. Reality Check: NO FUCKING WAY
I barely get it down past my boobs and it is so super tight. And I'm looking at myself in that stupid mirror and I've got this too tight, plastered to my body top on with a pair of jeans that looked like I had at least a dozen muffins hanging over the waistband. Not Good. Nope. Not working for me. But now I can't get the top off. So I got my head down and I'm yanking and pulling on it and clawing at it with my fingernails and inch by inch, it slowly came off. Whew! I settled for a Medium. It's a little snug but at least I can get it on and off okay. Decided I don't need the jeans.

Then I get the hell out of there....

I just wanted to go home and kiss my mirrors at home...at least THEY love me.